Tuesday, December 15, 2009

What I am still learning....

Why do I find it so hard to TRUST that God will take care of us and provide?... It is so easy to say the words, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart... lean not on your own understandings"... But when it comes time to actually act that out- I so easily forget. I have always been some-what of a worrier. When there are warnings out for storms in the summer- I freak. When Jordan hasn't answered my calls on the way home from work- My mind races. When Katelyn hasn't woken up for 4 straight hours in the night- I check to make sure she is still breathing. And ever since we went down to one income- I worry. and worry. And worry some more. Some days I am literally paralyzed with worry & fear... "How will we make it?, Will we be able to keep our house?, Will our bills get paid this month?"... And on & on the list goes.

And Yet...When I look back on the last 6 years of being married... God has always provided. We have not gone hungry. We have always had shelter over our heads, and a place to rest our bodies and call "home". We have always had clothes, and a car to get us from here to there. Have we ever felt wealthy- no! We never signed up for that, nor do we care to be rich with treasures on earth. We knew that when we chose to get married young and start our family right away!
But, still... in my humanness I worry. I find myself not only fearing the future, but the DAY. My mind gets flooded with the "How's" and "whys" and the "what's"... "How will we... Why did that... What will we...", etc. (Are there ever direct answers for those questions?...) Probably not.

Why isn't it enough to know that God has provided, and WILL provide? Why doesn't that calm my fearful heart? I know a lot of it is ME wanting to "fix it". I want to make all the worries go away- I want to put all the pieces perfectly in place.- When my house is a disaster, and toys are everywhere- I can fix that! I work until my house is clean- spotless- peaceful. Yet even that analogy bites me- because no matter how much I clean, it always gets dirty 5 minutes later (3 kids, hello!)... but I still feel in control of that situation. It may kill my back & push my patience, but I still know I can put the house back in order.

But when it is life, I can't always do that. I can't just go out and get a job with 3 little ones at home and only one car. I can't magically get Jordan a higher paying job, or put more money into our account each month (although I still try!)... Some times, I just have to TRUST. To realize we are doing what we can, and the rest is up to Him... I am not able to calm the storm, or drive the car, or control that my children are always healthy, breathing, and OK. I can't fix the past or control the future- as much as this 26 year old mom would like to...

I have to choose to LET GO, and just TRUST.

Trust that the creator of this world cares about the minute details of my life. That the Savior understands our failures (the reason He came to earth!).
That my Lord Loves me, and WANTS to take care of every area of my life. It may not always look the way we want or think it should look... but to just realize and accept He is in control! That He can do it SO much better than I could want or imagine. That He sees the BIG picture... not the "How's, & Why's and What's..."... He sees the end result and knows ALL the answers to my many questions. There is a reason He keeps things a secret some times, and probably just because He wants to teach His child to simply... Trust. To just wait upon Him and let Him take the lead.
To take off that heavy load you carry and lay. it. down. I know He will continue to teach me this... He will keep reminding me that everything will be OK. He will keep whispering those precious words day after day after day... "Elizabeth, TRUST me... I love you... and I am in control..."

Thank-you Jesus... Thank-you.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

7 weeks!

It's hard to believe Katelyn turned 7 weeks old last Thursday! However, it also feels like she has been with us forever... She is getting more & more personality every day! She will coo and "talk" to us, and she gives me HUGE smiles (However I can never seem to catch it on the video camera!)

Samuel and Serenity have been playing SO well together~ They are just the best of buddies. Yesterday they were playing "Hair Cuts"... luckily all my scissors are put FAR away from their reach! :) But here are a few pictures of them playing~

I have been trying to do more crafts with the kids... So here are a few we finished the other day. I think they turned out so cute!

This morning we woke up to BEAUTIFUL snow covering the ground... We had snow before, but this new, fresh snow is just gorgeous! Last night Jordan and I and the kids went with my parents to look at Christmas lights! Jordan mapped all the houses out, and we were able to see some AWESOME houses! We put the kids in pj's, brought snacks in the car, turned on Christmas music and had a wonderful time! All three kids were fast asleep by the time we turned into our house before 9:00pm. What fun memories we are creating!

Today I am going to get some more wrapping done, maybe make some Christmas cards with the kids, and just enjoy the day! It is easy to "Dread Mondays"... But I am CHOOSING to have a WORRY-FREE day, and INSTEAD, focus on all my blessings! Here is another video of Katelyn all dressed up for church... She would NOT give me big smiles, but she is still so darn cute, I had to share again!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Mirror Mirror on the Wall... and the Washing Machine

Last night Jordan put Katelyn in front of our mirror and she immediately started smiling. It was ADORABLE. I ran down stairs and grabbed the camera... But of course I missed when she was smiling really big! But it was still so cute I had to share! (If you make it to the end she starts cooing at herself... It's my favorite part) :)

And THIS is what S & S were doing while we were video taping!.... We discovered it later that night when we wanted to dry some sheets... (They put TONS of their toys in there)... (Note to self, don't leave a 2 & 4 year old un-attended too long!!!) :)

Monday, December 7, 2009

Some of my Favorite Things About Christmas!

There are a few things that I just LOVE to do around Christmas Time... Here are a few of them!

I LOVE going to the Dayton's 8th Floor display (I can't get myself to call it Macy's...) Even though I know the display itself only takes less than 5 minutes to go through, I think it is the whole "down-town" experience!

I LOVE decorating my house! I have always loved decorating, and with three kids it is usually put on the back burner... but Christmas-time gives me an excuse to tap into my creative side :)

I LOVE watching the snow fall softly down while we are all snuggled in our warm house... Grab a cup of tea (or coffee), find a comfy spot on the couch and do nothing but admire the beautiful WHITE.

I LOVE wrapping presents... I know a lot of people dread this, but I find it completely relaxing and once again a chance to be creative!

I LOVE Christmas music. The week or two before Thanksgiving I have Christmas music filling my house 24/7. (I love Pandora.com!)

I LOVE Christmas movies. I have a list that I HAVE to see each December. Is is as follows~ Miracle on 34th street (the new one), It's a Wonderful Life, White Christmas, Elf, Frosty, A Garfield's Christmas, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and The Muppet's Christmas.

I LOVE how the house looks and feels with all the lights down except for the glow from the Christmas tree...

I LOVE how the anticipation builds each day with my kids as we get closer to Christmas day!

I LOVE that the mall is CLOSED on Christmas day!... That Jordan always has that day off to spend with us.

I LOVE seeing Christmas lights outside. I love driving in a WARM car and enjoying all the amazing houses decked out with lights.

I LOVE seeing family. Brothers & Sisters. Aunts & Uncles. Cousins. Grandparents... Not every year are we blessed to see all the family we would like to, but I count my blessings when we do!

And finally... I LOVE hearing the Christmas story. Over & over again. I love sharing the Christmas story now with MY children. I love when they "get it", and they really understand what Christmas is all about.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Katelyn Smiles!

Katelyn has been full of smiles lately! I just had to share this picture with you! Isn't she SWEET!?! (She is 6 weeks old tomorrow!)